When Love is not Godly.

How can it be possible that something man-made can compete with something completely natural?
It can’t.
Or can it?
When did life become so rigid?
I think, I feel, and I want to say: it’s all pretty stupid…
But hey, that’s just my free-spirited opinion.
Have you ever felt vigorously trapped and beautifully free – simultaneously…?

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Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

My month long week

How many times have you asked yourself – why am I doing this?

Why does it seem like we ignore so many important facets of our lives, carrying on like there are other “priorities”?

More and I more, I’m starting to ask myself how much pleasure I get out of certain tasks and frames of mind.. and which things need to go.

All in life is a choice.

This past week has been great for me, I took some time to free my mind
And at least know what I don’t want, now it’s just about planning.
Actually, it’s about doing. There’s only so much we can plan.

I won’t be here for long.

caged bird

save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me

cagedbird

Love is undeniable.

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It just.. goes,
It just knows, shit flows.
One look that says so many different things,
especially the one that makes you glow.
Before I was uncertain but now I know for sure,
And when you know.. well, that’s the beginning of something truly special
something that means so much more.
Conversations with your eyes – the best.
Mind fucking one another for fun
never giving it a rest..
Continuous adventure, commitment, and communication.
I played this hand carefully, even when a few tried to call my bluff..
It never worked ‘cuz my hearts been in it (and all of that juicy stuff).
Love is just one of those things
that truly is magical
and when you find the right one, each day gets more exciting and more..
Meaningful.
We write the story and create our chapters,
those unforgettable moments.. our shared laughter.
My world is by far perfect,
but some things are incredibly great
So I’d thought I’d share a poem about my love
before life says it’s too late.

A mandatory cleanse.

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Peace is lovely,
Peace is free..
At this point in time, peace is me.
Free myself from negativity,
With no clouds weighing me…a lot to see,
A good cleanse is what most people need..
But from what I have and want to be..
I still feel that peace is me.

A made-up thought

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Strange it seems, these dreams and what they supposedly mean..
If they were real, how would I feel… how would we all deal?
I think sometimes, weird as it sounds that there are more to them..
It’s just that in our rapidly-moving world there is no way to actually prove them..so we get caught up in the next thought.
I often stop in my tracks, stare into the sky.. pick apart the dream
and re-live that magical scene…because who knows what will happen when I fall asleep again,
or worse – I may just forget the possibility..

A dark truth.

I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.

Mom’s everywhere.

Although today was Mother’s Day..it was no different than any other day.
I realized, you shouldn’t need a day to acknowledge your moms, grandma’s.. or anyone who took care of you.
Mom’s are special.. they do a job harder than anyone else.
To carry, give birth and raise a child, teach them lessons from scratch, protect them.. be there for them.. it’s all really challenging.
The birth part alone should make us indebted to them for life! I can’t tell you how terrified I am of that when I have to do the same one day.
A mom equals strength.
And grandma’s.. they are the hardworking ones that taught your mom how to teach you, so that of course deserves some praise.

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But I must say, that I have a family so loving, and so dedicated that I am grateful everyday to be born into that.
I love my mom, and grandmas – although one is in a more peaceful place.. I know she watches over me too.
To Mom’s everywhere: you are loved, and very appreciated – not just today, but every day.

You & I…

newloveI constantly observe..
but my fear holds me back from seeing what’s right in front of me.
I don’t quite know what I see, but I know what I want to see.
I’m in denial of what others speak of, and actions speak loudly – however, words do have some sort of solidification..
I really don’t need any of that to justify how I feel ‘cuz one just feels what they feel you know.
Magic, frustration, cravings, fear of the unknown, happiness, dreams coming true, and completeness. Acceptance. A high that even non-drug users deserve to experience. I just can’t be alone in the feeling that I feel, I just can’t.
Sometimes in life, we rush what we should just enjoy.
Have you ever felt the world around you stop?
That’s how I feel everytime it’s just you and I; absolutely nothing else matters in those moments, except your lips on mine.. your touch.. smell.. and any words and laughter exchanged between us, my senses get heightened..
I think about how lucky we are, and giggle as I envision you and I, waving hi to the passerbys as they pass us by.. not knowing what it’s like to fly this high in the sky. Sucks to be them.
Now-a-days the smallest of things just seem to make me smile.
And as time continues on, I just keep wanting more.