Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

caged bird

save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me

cagedbird

What does it mean to be close?

lock

Closeness is a deep understanding of another being.
It’s about moving forward on misunderstandings, and quickly.
It really begins when you are truly able to let that person in.
Closeness is about having a bond that does not die easily.
Friendships, love, family…
It represents utmost trust, honesty even when that person does not want to hear it, maturity.. recognition, and the ability to be happy for another being, even when you aren’t feeling it yourself.
A closeness is when smart people simply
don’t let each other down.

Benefits of Listening.

It’s been a while since I’ve truly sat down and written something in this corner of mine.

Many thoughts, they come and go..and they pass…before they even get published.

So many different feelings have occurred over the past few weeks. Feelings of frustration, strong feelings of happiness, some confusion.. a feeling of peace that seems to come over me quite often.

I have decided that I like that peaceful feeling and that in order to have a more consistent feeling of happiness I need to have more control over my thoughts and making them happy as well.

Thoughts really are things, and they take over your life. I can’t say that I don’t understand this concept, and because I grasp the law of attraction so greatly, I really have no excuse but to make my life what I want it to be.

So many answers are coming to me..
And so many questions remain unanswered.. but I strongly believe they will be, soon.

A mandatory cleanse.

article-new_ehow_images_a07_ao_5p_maintain-serenity-800x800
Peace is lovely,
Peace is free..
At this point in time, peace is me.
Free myself from negativity,
With no clouds weighing me…a lot to see,
A good cleanse is what most people need..
But from what I have and want to be..
I still feel that peace is me.

A dark truth.

I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.

Free me, free yourself.

Have to “figure it all out”
Gotta be careful not to overspend, I am on a budget.. one that
seems to never go away..
Can’t eat too much of that thing, even though it’s sooo good..
Don’t wanna wear that dress it’s too showy, can’t give off the wrong impression..
Oops! I have to make sure I’m saying hello to my family every now and then, don’t wanna seem like I don’t care about people..
At what point did life become so.. so calculated?
It’s depressing how expensive it can be to live in a city like Toronto.
It pisses me off more than anything watching people count their calories and carefully calculate their daily intake, like who the heck wants to live like that??? Arghhh. Just shut up already, you look f**king good.
Girls are never happy with themselves, we are always trying to impress boys who don’t care to impress us. Families are interesting.. so many members to constantly keep up with, makes you wonder your place sometimes.
Money money money.. it’s just a nasty cycle chasing it, spending it, needing it.. chasing it, spending it, needing it..
“If heaven were a mile away.. would I pack up my bags and leave this world behind…?” <—(good song, food for thought)
Going through the sameeeeeeeeeeeeeee motions..deadly.
My head is going to frigging explode like, damn.

Purple Sugar.

Life is truly funny.
You think you know what to expect next, but.. you don’t.
I’m sitting here.. trying to think of poetic words to put together,
to express the way I feel..but there are no poetic words coming to mind.
All that’s coming to mind are the subtle hints of what we both know is there.
There is a reason why I do the things I do,
And feel the way I feel.
But there is no feeling like the one I get when I’m with you.
Period.
2peasinapod

Mom’s everywhere.

Although today was Mother’s Day..it was no different than any other day.
I realized, you shouldn’t need a day to acknowledge your moms, grandma’s.. or anyone who took care of you.
Mom’s are special.. they do a job harder than anyone else.
To carry, give birth and raise a child, teach them lessons from scratch, protect them.. be there for them.. it’s all really challenging.
The birth part alone should make us indebted to them for life! I can’t tell you how terrified I am of that when I have to do the same one day.
A mom equals strength.
And grandma’s.. they are the hardworking ones that taught your mom how to teach you, so that of course deserves some praise.

mothersday

But I must say, that I have a family so loving, and so dedicated that I am grateful everyday to be born into that.
I love my mom, and grandmas – although one is in a more peaceful place.. I know she watches over me too.
To Mom’s everywhere: you are loved, and very appreciated – not just today, but every day.

You & I…

newloveI constantly observe..
but my fear holds me back from seeing what’s right in front of me.
I don’t quite know what I see, but I know what I want to see.
I’m in denial of what others speak of, and actions speak loudly – however, words do have some sort of solidification..
I really don’t need any of that to justify how I feel ‘cuz one just feels what they feel you know.
Magic, frustration, cravings, fear of the unknown, happiness, dreams coming true, and completeness. Acceptance. A high that even non-drug users deserve to experience. I just can’t be alone in the feeling that I feel, I just can’t.
Sometimes in life, we rush what we should just enjoy.
Have you ever felt the world around you stop?
That’s how I feel everytime it’s just you and I; absolutely nothing else matters in those moments, except your lips on mine.. your touch.. smell.. and any words and laughter exchanged between us, my senses get heightened..
I think about how lucky we are, and giggle as I envision you and I, waving hi to the passerbys as they pass us by.. not knowing what it’s like to fly this high in the sky. Sucks to be them.
Now-a-days the smallest of things just seem to make me smile.
And as time continues on, I just keep wanting more.