Each day of my life gets more intense with its’ learning lessons…
I have realized how difficult dealing with people really is; Even more difficult however, is dealing with myself and my inner thoughts.
Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do anymore, aside from write.
I learned lately that you just can’t be right all the time, it’s actually quite exhausting.
I’m surrendering to the high-road. Perhaps it’s the only way to free myself.
I talk a lot about this concept of “freeing myself” – I still have not figured this path out yet… It’s a daily struggle. I think it has something to do with forgiveness.
I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.
I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.
I need to work on my discipline..
I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.
And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.
So much has happened in my mind over the last week or two. I must say I am mentally exhausted.
Life is a crazy series of events.
One day you are happy, the next you are in tears.
One day you are living a truthful content life,
The next you catch yourself answering a lie.
I’m trying to figure out what I want out of:
Love, friendships, family relationships, career, and health.
I’m trying to build habits and stick to them.
I’m trying to care less about certain things, and more about others.
I’m trying to be less emotional. Lower my expectations of people.
Overall, I just want to be a better person. Lighter in the mind.
The new year is coming and it’s all about goals and shit, but really I’m still seeking the same goal I’ve had forever and that is inner happiness.
I think I’m getting closer to figuring out what I have to do to actually get it.
Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..
A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:
-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element
Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..
save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me
It just.. goes,
It just knows, shit flows.
One look that says so many different things,
especially the one that makes you glow.
Before I was uncertain but now I know for sure,
And when you know.. well, that’s the beginning of something truly special
something that means so much more.
Conversations with your eyes – the best.
Mind fucking one another for fun
never giving it a rest..
Continuous adventure, commitment, and communication.
I played this hand carefully, even when a few tried to call my bluff..
It never worked ‘cuz my hearts been in it (and all of that juicy stuff).
Love is just one of those things
that truly is magical
and when you find the right one, each day gets more exciting and more..
We write the story and create our chapters,
those unforgettable moments.. our shared laughter.
My world is by far perfect,
but some things are incredibly great
So I’d thought I’d share a poem about my love
before life says it’s too late.
Traditional apple pie..
Mystic greens have me flying
Or is it just this green train that I’m riding..
Demonstration of a fight that I once tried
Putting in work for a skill I can’t deny that I have..
Can’t stop this mind when it’s on fire
Coasting on these tracks makes me think of the things I truly desire
And that’s being free..
That’s being me
Gibberish at its finest,
Shout outs to those that are moved
by my words..
I can lure, we can soar
to those sunny skies and just sit
and eat some traditional apple pie
It’s been a while since I’ve truly sat down and written something in this corner of mine.
Many thoughts, they come and go..and they pass…before they even get published.
So many different feelings have occurred over the past few weeks. Feelings of frustration, strong feelings of happiness, some confusion.. a feeling of peace that seems to come over me quite often.
I have decided that I like that peaceful feeling and that in order to have a more consistent feeling of happiness I need to have more control over my thoughts and making them happy as well.
Thoughts really are things, and they take over your life. I can’t say that I don’t understand this concept, and because I grasp the law of attraction so greatly, I really have no excuse but to make my life what I want it to be.
So many answers are coming to me..
And so many questions remain unanswered.. but I strongly believe they will be, soon.
Peace is lovely,
Peace is free..
At this point in time, peace is me.
Free myself from negativity,
With no clouds weighing me…a lot to see,
A good cleanse is what most people need..
But from what I have and want to be..
I still feel that peace is me.
Strange it seems, these dreams and what they supposedly mean..
If they were real, how would I feel… how would we all deal?
I think sometimes, weird as it sounds that there are more to them..
It’s just that in our rapidly-moving world there is no way to actually prove them..so we get caught up in the next thought.
I often stop in my tracks, stare into the sky.. pick apart the dream
and re-live that magical scene…because who knows what will happen when I fall asleep again,
or worse – I may just forget the possibility..