You’ve been gone, gone too long..
I’m lost without you.
My heart patiently awaits the creation
of new memories..
My love is…anxious, ready…going crazy…
My heart is counting down the days..
I sit and dream
I sit and wait
I think and hate
on obstacles of my fate
I love I listen
I learn I try
a tear falls down
while time passes me by
I write I speak
I feel the heat
I feel it all
I feel it all..
In times of need, in times when you really need people –
You start to realize that the ones you consider close to you..
well, just aren’t as close as you thought.
Opening my eyes,
Opening my ears
To my reality.
A cold dark space – frigid as hell I laid there uncomfortable.
This goes out to those who never cared enough to offer me a warm place.
I mean that literally, and in other ways.
I can’t force people to care to the level I do or did, for them.
and it actually breaks my heart..
that those people won’t see it until it’s too late.
But in times of desperate need, the blurred becomes clear.
Turns into tears,
Turns into stillness
Life is full of surprises.
Twist and turns,
Journeys, like the one I’m taking right now.
Some things you can just be certain about..
Like the feelings I get,
All of them.
Deep in my mind lies all this crazy stuff
That’s just really hard to explain.
Let’s just say the past few days have been…eye-opening.
This year was a humbled birthday.
Spent with only those I truly care about.
As I get older I care less about going out, spending lots of money..and being out in the cold.
This year my birthday was filled with love, and just being in the present moment. Taking it in.
Chinese food, desserts, champagne, thoughtful words, beautiful surprises.
My family, my friends, my love.
Exactly what I wanted.
Life is all about change, it’s about discovering.
It’s almost my birthday, and that idea does not phase me one bit. I have no desire to celebrate per-se.. and I’m barely thinking about it. This isn’t my usual plan-in-advance dinner outing and then party afterwards year.
As a matter of fact I have temporarily stopped social smoking, and practically dropped social drinking for the mere reason of practicing resistance. I am almost a month strong, and I did that because I just wanted a cleanse. I figured once I accomplish something to be proud of I can treat myself if I want to, and who knows maybe after that I may not even want to.
I want to prioritize a healthy me but more importantly on a more focused me. I have joined the gym and so far have been consistent and it’s great. I don’t want to be one of those people admiring what others have from afar when I have the means to get it all myself. The body, the success, that overall happiness.
I like where things are going… and with projects under way, the road is looking clearer. Or, at least more exciting. Finally.
Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..
A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:
-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element
Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..
Traditional apple pie..
Mystic greens have me flying
Or is it just this green train that I’m riding..
Demonstration of a fight that I once tried
Putting in work for a skill I can’t deny that I have..
Can’t stop this mind when it’s on fire
Coasting on these tracks makes me think of the things I truly desire
And that’s being free..
That’s being me
Gibberish at its finest,
Shout outs to those that are moved
by my words..
I can lure, we can soar
to those sunny skies and just sit
and eat some traditional apple pie
There are things that I don’t want to hear, but people tell me anyway.
There are feelings I don’t want to experience, but that I have..and currently deal with everyday.
And there are lessons that can only be taught deliberately…teach them.