Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization


Careful observation.

To arrive at a good place within, it begins with looking at ourselves. Our actual selves.
Mindfulness is something we don’t think about often enough;
Being aware of who we are, how we act and come off to others…
How we may sometimes thrust our opinions on others..
Sometimes we are the problem, and when we aren’t – sometimes we just need to shrug things off.
Life is not really that serious.
We need to open our minds to what’s out there, or in front of us.
Hold on to the genuine souls around you.
Be less irritable, less emotional, less dissatisfying to be around.
Just enjoy people, and moments.
If you aren’t growing more each day, you aren’t living life to your highest potential.


Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

A mandatory cleanse.

Peace is lovely,
Peace is free..
At this point in time, peace is me.
Free myself from negativity,
With no clouds weighing me…a lot to see,
A good cleanse is what most people need..
But from what I have and want to be..
I still feel that peace is me.

Purple Sugar.

Life is truly funny.
You think you know what to expect next, but.. you don’t.
I’m sitting here.. trying to think of poetic words to put together,
to express the way I feel..but there are no poetic words coming to mind.
All that’s coming to mind are the subtle hints of what we both know is there.
There is a reason why I do the things I do,
And feel the way I feel.
But there is no feeling like the one I get when I’m with you.

You & I…

newloveI constantly observe..
but my fear holds me back from seeing what’s right in front of me.
I don’t quite know what I see, but I know what I want to see.
I’m in denial of what others speak of, and actions speak loudly – however, words do have some sort of solidification..
I really don’t need any of that to justify how I feel ‘cuz one just feels what they feel you know.
Magic, frustration, cravings, fear of the unknown, happiness, dreams coming true, and completeness. Acceptance. A high that even non-drug users deserve to experience. I just can’t be alone in the feeling that I feel, I just can’t.
Sometimes in life, we rush what we should just enjoy.
Have you ever felt the world around you stop?
That’s how I feel everytime it’s just you and I; absolutely nothing else matters in those moments, except your lips on mine.. your touch.. smell.. and any words and laughter exchanged between us, my senses get heightened..
I think about how lucky we are, and giggle as I envision you and I, waving hi to the passerbys as they pass us by.. not knowing what it’s like to fly this high in the sky. Sucks to be them.
Now-a-days the smallest of things just seem to make me smile.
And as time continues on, I just keep wanting more.

Adventures in Asia

So I’m still settling in from my trip to China, man what an experience!
I went with my incredible partner in crime.
I just want to touch a little bit on what I experienced there and what I took from the trip overall.
Firstly, I learned that many people are very ignorant towards what else exists in a world outside of their own. People were starring at me non-stop to the point where they 1: either thought I was a celebrity 2: wondered what the fuck is a coloured person doing in Guangzhou, China lol
In my Caribbean culture it is considered very rude to stare at people, so you can imagine my discomfort having everyone stare at me and not think twice about it. I mostly just starred them right back in their faces until I made them look away. I guess they never really see people with my type of mix down there, and funny enough they didn’t even believe I was from Canada! One guy was shocked that there was anything outside of white people over here LOL my gosh, I didn’t know the lack of knowledge was that huge in certain parts of the world, I guess cuz’ I’m used to having to learn about other cultures I figured other people had to too. WRONG! On a positive note however, I got tonnes of compliments, people thought I was stunning, and it felt nice to hear such sweet things thought of me. On another note, I learned sooo much about business and the value of money. Chinese people just don’t stop working, and the same goes for how they are in Toronto too – they are always the businesses opened late hours and on holidays when everyone else is sleeping. They never stop selling! In China, I was being sold everything left, right and center. They are professional negotiators – and they always start you at a price much higher, but they don’t do well with fear of loss so it’s not to hard getting things at the prices you want them at if you are smart about it. Just walk away and you’ll see. Things are dirt cheap out there, and in terms of the value of money I truly don’t even want to spend a cent up here now that I experienced what stuff actually costs. We were eating for two, drinks and all for like $4. Same shit up here costs like $20-$30! From what I heard though, prices up there have gone up! Wow, I can’t even imagine getting stuff cheaper than what I did. I got so much goodies, I’m set!
The weather out there was humid a lot of days, rainy some others. It was almost perfect as it was never too cold, and you were almost always comfortable in whatever you wore. The walking was ridiculous! I must have burned off every single calorie that entered my body and then some, every single day my feet were BURNING! But the massages out there were great.
In China they imitate EVERYTHING! Omg hahahahah I seen so many imitation brands it was hilarious. And the “black market” copy watch buildings was incredible, I can’t believe people spend $5,000 on watches up here that they can get exact copies of down there for like $30. EXACT COPIES. I seen a lottttttttt of buyers from all over the world. Smart people.







On the food side of things, the street vendors were pretty delicious and so were the restaurants I tried, but to be honest I felt safest with the Halal meats.. let’s just say I smelt and seen some meats.. that had me gagging. Other than that however, I learned that their culture is very interesting, pretty aggressive, and I just love eating with chopsticks.
I hope to go back one day but not anytime soon, that trip was exhausting! But next time I do I’ll be a lot more prepared and pack a lot lighter! Most stuff you can just buy while you are there. I do want to see a lot more of China. Oh, and I would love to stay a night or two in Hong Kong, that place is absolutely gorgeous.

7 steps backwards.

Today I learned just how alone I really am.
The things I felt, were all illusions, hopes.
I can’t lie, or deny.. that something will be different now,
and I can’t promise that will change.
This is probably what I had feared most,
that I would re-live a memory unwanted.
How can one be so blind at the pain they are causing another?
Why risk causing it in the first place, and then have to live with the regret that you did?
I … am starring at the screen trying to figure out what to write next.
There is nothing left to write, there is only the memory of being treated
like a complete stranger.
I thought you were different.
What a nightmare this has all been, so much for new experiences.

Chunk of heart on the escape, please return in one piece (it cannot afford any more wounds), prize for safe return – a chance at real love.

Murphy’s Law.

As much as a strong part of me wants to feel defeated, I cannot accept that.
I will not allow a shitty sequence of events ruin what I know is supposed to be a successful destiny.
As I recover and rebuild myself from shattered everythings, I will always remember the feelings that I never want repeated. This is so. fucking. hard.
Being on the ground, there is only one direction to look and that is up, right?

Light after the Dark.

When it was really dark, I couldn’t see…anything.
My vision was blurred, and I never thought I would get it back.
But I have, and I did.. and sometimes, when it’s dark you can’t fathom the idea of there being any light present, because you can’t physically see it.
But the light was there and now it’s shinning more than ever.