Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

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Release

I just realized how long it’s been since I wrote in my blog.
Read my last entry and thought.. yup.. that’s pretty accurate to my current feeling.
A lot has been on the go, a lot has been on the mind.
Very excited about my new business venture which I will be promoting soon.
I pretty much talk about it all the time indirectly, hint hint.
Feel like I’m at a good place in my life…for the most part.
Life is interesting you know, puts you through situations that truly test your strength…test your direction. I am being tested and the truth is, I have no idea how I’m holding up.
As I sit here eating lots of candy I think to myself how important it is to fight for things that are important to you.
Business goals, life dreams, beliefs, love, values..
I’m saying many things I know yet not really saying anything at all.
Who cares, at least I know what I’m talking about.
The beauty of blogging.

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When Love is not Godly.

How can it be possible that something man-made can compete with something completely natural?
It can’t.
Or can it?
When did life become so rigid?
I think, I feel, and I want to say: it’s all pretty stupid…
But hey, that’s just my free-spirited opinion.
Have you ever felt vigorously trapped and beautifully free – simultaneously…?

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Social media.. a bit too social for me.

I’m not sure if I’m cool with total strangers knowing my whole life story through social media.
At first I thought Facebook was too much, so I got rid of it – but now, people from all over the world can not only follow your life through imagery but can save your personal pictures to their phones and hard drives via Instagram.
One thing becomes cool but on a flip side can be very dangerous.
What do we do when we want to keep up with the times, but more importantly want to remain a private person? You almost get caught up posting bullshit when you join these things.
It’s almost impossible to do both.
Gosh…what’s happening…?
I mean, when did it become cool for everyone to know all of your business?

Check this out, I read it not too long ago – the video is creepy!

http://smallbiztrends.com/2013/12/10-tips-social-media-privacy.html

Healing my inner self

So much has happened in my mind over the last week or two. I must say I am mentally exhausted.
Life is a crazy series of events.
One day you are happy, the next you are in tears.
One day you are living a truthful content life,
The next you catch yourself answering a lie.
I’m trying to figure out what I want out of:
Love, friendships, family relationships, career, and health.
I’m trying to build habits and stick to them.
I’m trying to care less about certain things, and more about others.
I’m trying to be less emotional. Lower my expectations of people.
Overall, I just want to be a better person. Lighter in the mind.
The new year is coming and it’s all about goals and shit, but really I’m still seeking the same goal I’ve had forever and that is inner happiness.
I think I’m getting closer to figuring out what I have to do to actually get it.

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A cold dark space.

In times of need, in times when you really need people –
You start to realize that the ones you consider close to you..
well, just aren’t as close as you thought.
Opening my eyes,
Opening my ears
To my reality.
A cold dark space – frigid as hell I laid there uncomfortable.
This goes out to those who never cared enough to offer me a warm place.
I mean that literally, and in other ways.
I can’t force people to care to the level I do or did, for them.
It’s sad,
and it actually breaks my heart..
that those people won’t see it until it’s too late.
But in times of desperate need, the blurred becomes clear.
Anger
Turns into tears,
Turns into stillness
Turns into
Resentment.

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A different feeling

Life is full of surprises.
Crazy emotions..
Complicated situations.
Twist and turns,
Dreams…miracles..
Unexplainable reactions.
Journeys, like the one I’m taking right now.
Some things you can just be certain about..
Like the feelings I get,
All of them.
Deep in my mind lies all this crazy stuff
That’s just really hard to explain.
Let’s just say the past few days have been…eye-opening.

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Forcing my discipline.

Life is all about change, it’s about discovering.
It’s almost my birthday, and that idea does not phase me one bit. I have no desire to celebrate per-se.. and I’m barely thinking about it. This isn’t my usual plan-in-advance dinner outing and then party afterwards year.
As a matter of fact I have temporarily stopped social smoking, and practically dropped social drinking for the mere reason of practicing resistance. I am almost a month strong, and I did that because I just wanted a cleanse. I figured once I accomplish something to be proud of I can treat myself if I want to, and who knows maybe after that I may not even want to.
I want to prioritize a healthy me but more importantly on a more focused me. I have joined the gym and so far have been consistent and it’s great. I don’t want to be one of those people admiring what others have from afar when I have the means to get it all myself. The body, the success, that overall happiness.
I like where things are going… and with projects under way, the road is looking clearer. Or, at least more exciting. Finally.

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Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

My month long week

How many times have you asked yourself – why am I doing this?

Why does it seem like we ignore so many important facets of our lives, carrying on like there are other “priorities”?

More and I more, I’m starting to ask myself how much pleasure I get out of certain tasks and frames of mind.. and which things need to go.

All in life is a choice.

This past week has been great for me, I took some time to free my mind
And at least know what I don’t want, now it’s just about planning.
Actually, it’s about doing. There’s only so much we can plan.

I won’t be here for long.