Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

Release

I just realized how long it’s been since I wrote in my blog.
Read my last entry and thought.. yup.. that’s pretty accurate to my current feeling.
A lot has been on the go, a lot has been on the mind.
Very excited about my new business venture which I will be promoting soon.
I pretty much talk about it all the time indirectly, hint hint.
Feel like I’m at a good place in my life…for the most part.
Life is interesting you know, puts you through situations that truly test your strength…test your direction. I am being tested and the truth is, I have no idea how I’m holding up.
As I sit here eating lots of candy I think to myself how important it is to fight for things that are important to you.
Business goals, life dreams, beliefs, love, values..
I’m saying many things I know yet not really saying anything at all.
Who cares, at least I know what I’m talking about.
The beauty of blogging.

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When Love is not Godly.

How can it be possible that something man-made can compete with something completely natural?
It can’t.
Or can it?
When did life become so rigid?
I think, I feel, and I want to say: it’s all pretty stupid…
But hey, that’s just my free-spirited opinion.
Have you ever felt vigorously trapped and beautifully free – simultaneously…?

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Careful observation.

To arrive at a good place within, it begins with looking at ourselves. Our actual selves.
Mindfulness is something we don’t think about often enough;
Being aware of who we are, how we act and come off to others…
How we may sometimes thrust our opinions on others..
Sometimes we are the problem, and when we aren’t – sometimes we just need to shrug things off.
Life is not really that serious.
We need to open our minds to what’s out there, or in front of us.
Hold on to the genuine souls around you.
Be less irritable, less emotional, less dissatisfying to be around.
Just enjoy people, and moments.
If you aren’t growing more each day, you aren’t living life to your highest potential.

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Healing my inner self

So much has happened in my mind over the last week or two. I must say I am mentally exhausted.
Life is a crazy series of events.
One day you are happy, the next you are in tears.
One day you are living a truthful content life,
The next you catch yourself answering a lie.
I’m trying to figure out what I want out of:
Love, friendships, family relationships, career, and health.
I’m trying to build habits and stick to them.
I’m trying to care less about certain things, and more about others.
I’m trying to be less emotional. Lower my expectations of people.
Overall, I just want to be a better person. Lighter in the mind.
The new year is coming and it’s all about goals and shit, but really I’m still seeking the same goal I’ve had forever and that is inner happiness.
I think I’m getting closer to figuring out what I have to do to actually get it.

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Birthday love.

This year was a humbled birthday.
Spent with only those I truly care about.
As I get older I care less about going out, spending lots of money..and being out in the cold.
This year my birthday was filled with love, and just being in the present moment. Taking it in.
Chinese food, desserts, champagne, thoughtful words, beautiful surprises.
My family, my friends, my love.
Exactly what I wanted.

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Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

What does it mean to be close?

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Closeness is a deep understanding of another being.
It’s about moving forward on misunderstandings, and quickly.
It really begins when you are truly able to let that person in.
Closeness is about having a bond that does not die easily.
Friendships, love, family…
It represents utmost trust, honesty even when that person does not want to hear it, maturity.. recognition, and the ability to be happy for another being, even when you aren’t feeling it yourself.
A closeness is when smart people simply
don’t let each other down.

Free me, free yourself.

Have to “figure it all out”
Gotta be careful not to overspend, I am on a budget.. one that
seems to never go away..
Can’t eat too much of that thing, even though it’s sooo good..
Don’t wanna wear that dress it’s too showy, can’t give off the wrong impression..
Oops! I have to make sure I’m saying hello to my family every now and then, don’t wanna seem like I don’t care about people..
At what point did life become so.. so calculated?
It’s depressing how expensive it can be to live in a city like Toronto.
It pisses me off more than anything watching people count their calories and carefully calculate their daily intake, like who the heck wants to live like that??? Arghhh. Just shut up already, you look f**king good.
Girls are never happy with themselves, we are always trying to impress boys who don’t care to impress us. Families are interesting.. so many members to constantly keep up with, makes you wonder your place sometimes.
Money money money.. it’s just a nasty cycle chasing it, spending it, needing it.. chasing it, spending it, needing it..
“If heaven were a mile away.. would I pack up my bags and leave this world behind…?” <—(good song, food for thought)
Going through the sameeeeeeeeeeeeeee motions..deadly.
My head is going to frigging explode like, damn.

It Just Clicked.

I’m at a place mentally where I’m practicing not letting things beyond my control bother me so much.
I get bothered easily.
It seems pretty peaceful so far, calming.
The idea is to not torment yourself with the same thought over and over.
Especially because you can’t do anything about it. Unless you can but then do that.
Being more carefree (to an extent), is really how I should be. Stress-free.