I wish I may I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight:
With all the stress and all those fights
Erase your existence from my mental sight.
I forgive I forgot, or so I tell myself often
I can’t dwell on you locked in
I don’t hate that you are him
I need closure I think I’m dying to reveal your sins
Don’t know if maybe I would feel that was my win…
Intense sexual energy gets someone’s heart broken,
Mine, hers – or maybe yours.
Either way I need these dreams to stop reoccurring,
So I can free my mind
and continue maturing.
Something in my heart tells me this is going to be a really great summer.
I just feel it.
Good times with friends..
Close bonds with family..
New business ventures..
A lot of knowledge gained..
And continued growth among self.
Over the past week, I’ve realized a lot about myself – and others. I learned that my tolerance level is not the highest.
I learned that I can’t stand being copied in any way, actually wait…I knew that since grade 4. I realized that my closest friendships are with more strong-minded individuals. Makes sense. I learned I’m even more territorial than I thought, but more so very sensitive. I learned that I’m way too honest, and have a big mouth. I know how to keep secrets but when it comes to something bothering me, I really have to say something. I just can’t shut my mouth, and I have next to no filter so….when it comes out, it really comes out! Yikes!
I can’t explain the level to which I need to change this.
I have solid bonds with some, and others just still don’t get me yet and vice-versa which, I suppose is okay.. for now.
But what I learned the most over the past week is this: be mindful of other people’s feelings because when you truly care about certain individuals, their feelings should be your priority. Especially in a relationship sense. Nothing is worse than watching your feelings become secondary where they should be primary. At the same time however, it’s easier just to fuck with people who get you, accept you and love you.
So I’m still settling in from my trip to China, man what an experience!
I went with my incredible partner in crime.
I just want to touch a little bit on what I experienced there and what I took from the trip overall.
Firstly, I learned that many people are very ignorant towards what else exists in a world outside of their own. People were starring at me non-stop to the point where they 1: either thought I was a celebrity 2: wondered what the fuck is a coloured person doing in Guangzhou, China lol
In my Caribbean culture it is considered very rude to stare at people, so you can imagine my discomfort having everyone stare at me and not think twice about it. I mostly just starred them right back in their faces until I made them look away. I guess they never really see people with my type of mix down there, and funny enough they didn’t even believe I was from Canada! One guy was shocked that there was anything outside of white people over here LOL my gosh, I didn’t know the lack of knowledge was that huge in certain parts of the world, I guess cuz’ I’m used to having to learn about other cultures I figured other people had to too. WRONG! On a positive note however, I got tonnes of compliments, people thought I was stunning, and it felt nice to hear such sweet things thought of me. On another note, I learned sooo much about business and the value of money. Chinese people just don’t stop working, and the same goes for how they are in Toronto too – they are always the businesses opened late hours and on holidays when everyone else is sleeping. They never stop selling! In China, I was being sold everything left, right and center. They are professional negotiators – and they always start you at a price much higher, but they don’t do well with fear of loss so it’s not to hard getting things at the prices you want them at if you are smart about it. Just walk away and you’ll see. Things are dirt cheap out there, and in terms of the value of money I truly don’t even want to spend a cent up here now that I experienced what stuff actually costs. We were eating for two, drinks and all for like $4. Same shit up here costs like $20-$30! From what I heard though, prices up there have gone up! Wow, I can’t even imagine getting stuff cheaper than what I did. I got so much goodies, I’m set!
The weather out there was humid a lot of days, rainy some others. It was almost perfect as it was never too cold, and you were almost always comfortable in whatever you wore. The walking was ridiculous! I must have burned off every single calorie that entered my body and then some, every single day my feet were BURNING! But the massages out there were great.
In China they imitate EVERYTHING! Omg hahahahah I seen so many imitation brands it was hilarious. And the “black market” copy watch buildings was incredible, I can’t believe people spend $5,000 on watches up here that they can get exact copies of down there for like $30. EXACT COPIES. I seen a lottttttttt of buyers from all over the world. Smart people.
On the food side of things, the street vendors were pretty delicious and so were the restaurants I tried, but to be honest I felt safest with the Halal meats.. let’s just say I smelt and seen some meats.. that had me gagging. Other than that however, I learned that their culture is very interesting, pretty aggressive, and I just love eating with chopsticks.
I hope to go back one day but not anytime soon, that trip was exhausting! But next time I do I’ll be a lot more prepared and pack a lot lighter! Most stuff you can just buy while you are there. I do want to see a lot more of China. Oh, and I would love to stay a night or two in Hong Kong, that place is absolutely gorgeous.
I remember when I went to Chicoutimi in Quebec on an exchange program for school. It was the best time of my life. Not a care in the world, embracing and learning about a whole new culture.
I had the best university class, 4A. Or should I say “Quatre Ahhh” lol we weren’t quite fluent but definitely weren’t rookies when it came to the language (according to the tests!)
So many memories there. So many good friends made. I wish I could re-live that experience, it was incredible.
I miss my friend Sarah.. JT.. I wonder what he’s up to. Wow, what insane experiences! The French.. the walks to school, the many activities, the pot sessions, the ‘franglais’ hahaha…the outings in JT’s car, the wild parties.
My beautiful family, Chantele and her cute little sons – couldn’t have asked for more. Hosting the grande finale show at the end of the trip with that funny dude from PEI! What a dynamic. I wish I could get my hands on that video!! Oh my goshhh and the improv sessions!! That was some fun stuff man. I think I will look into getting my hands on some hard copies.
What would life be without adventures around the world?
I’m just lying here reminiscing about that trip from beginning..middle..and the end. I did not want to leave, I did not want it to end. *sigh*
Best 5 weeks EVER.