Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

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When Love is not Godly.

How can it be possible that something man-made can compete with something completely natural?
It can’t.
Or can it?
When did life become so rigid?
I think, I feel, and I want to say: it’s all pretty stupid…
But hey, that’s just my free-spirited opinion.
Have you ever felt vigorously trapped and beautifully free – simultaneously…?

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Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

caged bird

save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me

cagedbird

Love is undeniable.

lovepix
It just.. goes,
It just knows, shit flows.
One look that says so many different things,
especially the one that makes you glow.
Before I was uncertain but now I know for sure,
And when you know.. well, that’s the beginning of something truly special
something that means so much more.
Conversations with your eyes – the best.
Mind fucking one another for fun
never giving it a rest..
Continuous adventure, commitment, and communication.
I played this hand carefully, even when a few tried to call my bluff..
It never worked ‘cuz my hearts been in it (and all of that juicy stuff).
Love is just one of those things
that truly is magical
and when you find the right one, each day gets more exciting and more..
Meaningful.
We write the story and create our chapters,
those unforgettable moments.. our shared laughter.
My world is by far perfect,
but some things are incredibly great
So I’d thought I’d share a poem about my love
before life says it’s too late.

Apple Pie in the Sky

Sunny skies,
Traditional apple pie..
Mystic greens have me flying
Or is it just this green train that I’m riding..
Demonstration of a fight that I once tried
Putting in work for a skill I can’t deny that I have..
Had
Want
Am
Can’t stop this mind when it’s on fire
Coasting on these tracks makes me think of the things I truly desire
And that’s being free..
That’s being me
Stamped, approved
Gibberish at its finest,
Shout outs to those that are moved
by my words..
I can lure, we can soar
to those sunny skies and just sit
and eat some traditional apple pie

A dark truth.

I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.

Free me, free yourself.

Have to “figure it all out”
Gotta be careful not to overspend, I am on a budget.. one that
seems to never go away..
Can’t eat too much of that thing, even though it’s sooo good..
Don’t wanna wear that dress it’s too showy, can’t give off the wrong impression..
Oops! I have to make sure I’m saying hello to my family every now and then, don’t wanna seem like I don’t care about people..
At what point did life become so.. so calculated?
It’s depressing how expensive it can be to live in a city like Toronto.
It pisses me off more than anything watching people count their calories and carefully calculate their daily intake, like who the heck wants to live like that??? Arghhh. Just shut up already, you look f**king good.
Girls are never happy with themselves, we are always trying to impress boys who don’t care to impress us. Families are interesting.. so many members to constantly keep up with, makes you wonder your place sometimes.
Money money money.. it’s just a nasty cycle chasing it, spending it, needing it.. chasing it, spending it, needing it..
“If heaven were a mile away.. would I pack up my bags and leave this world behind…?” <—(good song, food for thought)
Going through the sameeeeeeeeeeeeeee motions..deadly.
My head is going to frigging explode like, damn.