I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.
I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.
I need to work on my discipline..
I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.
And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.
How many times have you asked yourself – why am I doing this?
Why does it seem like we ignore so many important facets of our lives, carrying on like there are other “priorities”?
More and I more, I’m starting to ask myself how much pleasure I get out of certain tasks and frames of mind.. and which things need to go.
All in life is a choice.
This past week has been great for me, I took some time to free my mind
And at least know what I don’t want, now it’s just about planning.
Actually, it’s about doing. There’s only so much we can plan.
I won’t be here for long.
save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me
More and more I realize how important it is to have inner happiness in your life, especially in a career.
Going through many job and career changes at such young ages have made me realize that the world is yours, and you truly have not only “a” choice, but you make the choice in your own path.
Every single day I watch people (including myself) hustling, busting their butts doing repetitive tasks in a redundant career with no growth that they are clearly unhappy pursuing.
They have no time for anything, and have to answer to people they don’t even like.. Have to socialize with people who don’t even dream and abide by stupid office politics.
When does it end? When do we get to do what we want, or have the freedom that we deserve, or get to make the kind of money that we are actually worth?
I’m on a quest to find out what different people that have aspects to the life that I want, actually do and I’m confident that it will all come together. I need to take some action, get some answers.
There is no way in hell life is just about some 9-5.
If some of us don’t do something now, life will pass us by and we’ll have regrets forever. I would rather at least try to create my own happiness than to just sit around watching others live theirs.
I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.
Life is truly funny.
You think you know what to expect next, but.. you don’t.
I’m sitting here.. trying to think of poetic words to put together,
to express the way I feel..but there are no poetic words coming to mind.
All that’s coming to mind are the subtle hints of what we both know is there.
There is a reason why I do the things I do,
And feel the way I feel.
But there is no feeling like the one I get when I’m with you.
I constantly observe..
but my fear holds me back from seeing what’s right in front of me.
I don’t quite know what I see, but I know what I want to see.
I’m in denial of what others speak of, and actions speak loudly – however, words do have some sort of solidification..
I really don’t need any of that to justify how I feel ‘cuz one just feels what they feel you know.
Magic, frustration, cravings, fear of the unknown, happiness, dreams coming true, and completeness. Acceptance. A high that even non-drug users deserve to experience. I just can’t be alone in the feeling that I feel, I just can’t.
Sometimes in life, we rush what we should just enjoy.
Have you ever felt the world around you stop?
That’s how I feel everytime it’s just you and I; absolutely nothing else matters in those moments, except your lips on mine.. your touch.. smell.. and any words and laughter exchanged between us, my senses get heightened..
I think about how lucky we are, and giggle as I envision you and I, waving hi to the passerbys as they pass us by.. not knowing what it’s like to fly this high in the sky. Sucks to be them.
Now-a-days the smallest of things just seem to make me smile.
And as time continues on, I just keep wanting more.
Day 2 of my Vegan challenge has been great!
This is so much easier than I thought. Well, not super easy but easier. It’s all a mental thing – you tell yourself you eat meat, then you will. You tell yourself that something else is your diet than your daily habits fall into place. This challenge is such a hit that my family now wants to go on a vegetarian diet! Glad I sparked something different and healthy for my family.
I was so close to eating Honeycomb cereal today! Eekk!
My cousin tells me there is a huge debate about Vegans and eating Honey-related products. I’m just going to push it all the way, may as well.
Eating cleaner feels great!
So today was my official start day for this vegan challenge, and boy what a day it was! I hadn’t actually done my grocery shopping until today so for breakfast, I just ate oatmeal and had some fruit. Luckily I had that in the house. Oh, and I hate oatmeal by the way lol.. but I sure learned to love this real quick!
My experience at the grocery store was deadly.. how lost was I?! Going up and down the aisles, even with a list! Hahahaha
I bought greens I didn’t even know existed… and beans for days!
When I got home, I put together some concoction that ended up getting pretty soggy, and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking anyways with that combination of stuff. I ended up eating some kale and peppers that my mom put together the night before – phew! After a heavy duty work out today, I was starved and ended up eating a vegetarian Caribbean appetizer called Doubles, and had more of my concoction and carrots and hummus. I know this is boring me just listing my meals.. and I probably won’t do this everyday but I can’t believe how eye-opening this experience is for me already! It’s only day 1. People truly do make a huge sacrifice, and it takes a lot of knowledge about food to do the right cooking, blending, and grocery shopping. Even knowing the terminology is crucial. I learned about Tofu having various textures, and how to make it (more or less). With the assistance of my mom, I was able to prepare a delicious stir fry for tomorrow’s lunch, and now I have pretty much all the groceries I will need for my 7 days. 6 now! Woo hoo! It was not too hard sacrificing meat – today my main struggle was finding my way through the grocery store aisles and reading ingredients, etc. I guess the more experience with living this way of life, the easier it becomes.
Although I can’t say if I would adopt this lifestyle for good (I doubt it but who knows), I can say that I will take on a cleaner way of eating by implementing a lot of these things – I feel great.
Some people fight for the things they want with an undeniable passion,
Other’s just watch them drift away.. day by day.
Some people take great pleasure in lifting others up positively through words,
While other’s enjoy putting people down, just to make themselves feel better.
Some people pay attention to detail, showing they truly care.
Other’s exhaust people by constantly having to be taught things that are common sense.
Some people can admit that they just don’t know it all and have a lot to learn.
Other’s think and act like they know so much, when their entire demeanour speaks differently.
Some people are humble beings and realize everything is not all about them,
While other’s chose to act like spoiled brats, and have egos so large they are blinded by selfish clouds.
Some people are there for you, ride or die because they want to be.
With other’s it only seems that way when shit is easy, oh! and when they want to “look good”.
Some people just make life worth living.
Fuck the others, they just have way too much pride.