Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

Release

I just realized how long it’s been since I wrote in my blog.
Read my last entry and thought.. yup.. that’s pretty accurate to my current feeling.
A lot has been on the go, a lot has been on the mind.
Very excited about my new business venture which I will be promoting soon.
I pretty much talk about it all the time indirectly, hint hint.
Feel like I’m at a good place in my life…for the most part.
Life is interesting you know, puts you through situations that truly test your strength…test your direction. I am being tested and the truth is, I have no idea how I’m holding up.
As I sit here eating lots of candy I think to myself how important it is to fight for things that are important to you.
Business goals, life dreams, beliefs, love, values..
I’m saying many things I know yet not really saying anything at all.
Who cares, at least I know what I’m talking about.
The beauty of blogging.

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When Love is not Godly.

How can it be possible that something man-made can compete with something completely natural?
It can’t.
Or can it?
When did life become so rigid?
I think, I feel, and I want to say: it’s all pretty stupid…
But hey, that’s just my free-spirited opinion.
Have you ever felt vigorously trapped and beautifully free – simultaneously…?

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Careful observation.

To arrive at a good place within, it begins with looking at ourselves. Our actual selves.
Mindfulness is something we don’t think about often enough;
Being aware of who we are, how we act and come off to others…
How we may sometimes thrust our opinions on others..
Sometimes we are the problem, and when we aren’t – sometimes we just need to shrug things off.
Life is not really that serious.
We need to open our minds to what’s out there, or in front of us.
Hold on to the genuine souls around you.
Be less irritable, less emotional, less dissatisfying to be around.
Just enjoy people, and moments.
If you aren’t growing more each day, you aren’t living life to your highest potential.

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Forcing my discipline.

Life is all about change, it’s about discovering.
It’s almost my birthday, and that idea does not phase me one bit. I have no desire to celebrate per-se.. and I’m barely thinking about it. This isn’t my usual plan-in-advance dinner outing and then party afterwards year.
As a matter of fact I have temporarily stopped social smoking, and practically dropped social drinking for the mere reason of practicing resistance. I am almost a month strong, and I did that because I just wanted a cleanse. I figured once I accomplish something to be proud of I can treat myself if I want to, and who knows maybe after that I may not even want to.
I want to prioritize a healthy me but more importantly on a more focused me. I have joined the gym and so far have been consistent and it’s great. I don’t want to be one of those people admiring what others have from afar when I have the means to get it all myself. The body, the success, that overall happiness.
I like where things are going… and with projects under way, the road is looking clearer. Or, at least more exciting. Finally.

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My month long week

How many times have you asked yourself – why am I doing this?

Why does it seem like we ignore so many important facets of our lives, carrying on like there are other “priorities”?

More and I more, I’m starting to ask myself how much pleasure I get out of certain tasks and frames of mind.. and which things need to go.

All in life is a choice.

This past week has been great for me, I took some time to free my mind
And at least know what I don’t want, now it’s just about planning.
Actually, it’s about doing. There’s only so much we can plan.

I won’t be here for long.

caged bird

save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me

cagedbird

Is any job really satisfying?

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More and more I realize how important it is to have inner happiness in your life, especially in a career.

Going through many job and career changes at such young ages have made me realize that the world is yours, and you truly have not only “a” choice, but you make the choice in your own path.

Every single day I watch people (including myself) hustling, busting their butts doing repetitive tasks in a redundant career with no growth that they are clearly unhappy pursuing.
They have no time for anything, and have to answer to people they don’t even like.. Have to socialize with people who don’t even dream and abide by stupid office politics.

When does it end? When do we get to do what we want, or have the freedom that we deserve, or get to make the kind of money that we are actually worth?

I’m on a quest to find out what different people that have aspects to the life that I want, actually do and I’m confident that it will all come together. I need to take some action, get some answers.

There is no way in hell life is just about some 9-5.

If some of us don’t do something now, life will pass us by and we’ll have regrets forever. I would rather at least try to create my own happiness than to just sit around watching others live theirs.

A dark truth.

I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.