Reoccuring dreams…

I wish I may I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight:
With all the stress and all those fights
Erase your existence from my mental sight.
I forgive I forgot, or so I tell myself often
I can’t dwell on you locked in
I don’t hate that you are him
I need closure I think I’m dying to reveal your sins
Don’t know if maybe I would feel that was my win…
Intense sexual energy gets someone’s heart broken,
Mine, hers – or maybe yours.
Either way I need these dreams to stop reoccurring,
So I can free my mind
and continue maturing.

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Lights On

I get really happy with the little things..
I wake up with purpose when I have a clear mind.

I hate repeating myself..
I can’t stand poor communication.

I need to work on my discipline..
and consistency..

I’m really good at showing my love..
unfortunately, I’m too analytical.

And I learned, that by caring too much – you only hurt yourself.

Quotes on self realization

A different feeling

Life is full of surprises.
Crazy emotions..
Complicated situations.
Twist and turns,
Dreams…miracles..
Unexplainable reactions.
Journeys, like the one I’m taking right now.
Some things you can just be certain about..
Like the feelings I get,
All of them.
Deep in my mind lies all this crazy stuff
That’s just really hard to explain.
Let’s just say the past few days have been…eye-opening.

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Just plain pooped

Being that it’s Halloween and my 1 year anniversary on WordPress as a blogger (yay!), I figured this may be a good time to write.. reflect, even.
I have actually been non-stop this week. Go go go!
Is this what life is like in the fast lane?
I feel like I’m in the process of learning 7 or more things at once and it’s insane – my brain is going to explode, literally. If I wasn’t in a meeting, I was preparing for one.. or listening to a podcast or researching, or at work, or travelling, or reading some book, or an article.. or planning.. or something..

A couple of “take-aways” (as my manager would say) this week:

-Opportunities wait for no one, either you are movin’ or you are loungin’.
-I love consulting, being consulted and consulting others
-This health & fitness trend came out of no where and I need to slowly get with the program or I’ll end up very unhappy with myself – or I just need to eat better (…right)
-People are moody
-I need some bit of structure in my weeks in order to get shit done
-I am a natural researcher
-I am able to skip sugar in my coffees, as a matter of fact I have the ability to cut coffee out altogether..
-People will waste a lot of your time, be careful
-I don’t prioritize enough
-Technology is very distracting, especially Smartphones
-Cold calling sucks
-I love dark nail polish
-Halloween is slowly dying out, adults go out more than kids have in the past few years
(I’ve seen more adults in costumes today than I seen kids on the street)
-Procrastination will kill ya, and so will the lack of a dream
-Don’t try doing too many things all at once. Nothing will get accomplished.
-I can really sell myself *not like that
-I can be overly analytical sometimes
-I live for adventures
-Life is always about “figuring stuff out” it’s on-going in some element

Wow, glad to get that all off my chest. It feels like a thousand thoughts are still floating around my head but for some reason I’m so pooped that all I can do is just stare at this screen while my thoughts linger..

My month long week

How many times have you asked yourself – why am I doing this?

Why does it seem like we ignore so many important facets of our lives, carrying on like there are other “priorities”?

More and I more, I’m starting to ask myself how much pleasure I get out of certain tasks and frames of mind.. and which things need to go.

All in life is a choice.

This past week has been great for me, I took some time to free my mind
And at least know what I don’t want, now it’s just about planning.
Actually, it’s about doing. There’s only so much we can plan.

I won’t be here for long.

caged bird

save me from this world I know, where expectations are so high
living the city life where nothing seems good enough
and misery comes over me from things not going my way
and a 9-5er gives you the excuse to be lazy and let yourself go
save me from this world I know where it all seems like a dead end
and my mood becomes controlled by something as minimal as not closing a deal
when did it get to this where everything seems to be so stressful, is that just.. adulthood?
bring me to that world that exists in the universe where everyone is so humbled and happiness means breathing or getting the chance to eat an ice cream cone with your friend
or even just.. the ability to be positive
some days I may seem ungrateful – other days it’s like screw it, this is the society we live in, we are all hungry for more and if you aren’t upset at your situation then you are too comfortable
But what I’m struggling with is, which individual would be happier?
‘Cuz that’s all I care about and want
save me from this mental torture of ups and downs, and fly me to my serenity
I guess I just have to.. save myself by not letting my thoughts get the best of me

cagedbird

Love is undeniable.

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It just.. goes,
It just knows, shit flows.
One look that says so many different things,
especially the one that makes you glow.
Before I was uncertain but now I know for sure,
And when you know.. well, that’s the beginning of something truly special
something that means so much more.
Conversations with your eyes – the best.
Mind fucking one another for fun
never giving it a rest..
Continuous adventure, commitment, and communication.
I played this hand carefully, even when a few tried to call my bluff..
It never worked ‘cuz my hearts been in it (and all of that juicy stuff).
Love is just one of those things
that truly is magical
and when you find the right one, each day gets more exciting and more..
Meaningful.
We write the story and create our chapters,
those unforgettable moments.. our shared laughter.
My world is by far perfect,
but some things are incredibly great
So I’d thought I’d share a poem about my love
before life says it’s too late.

Is any job really satisfying?

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More and more I realize how important it is to have inner happiness in your life, especially in a career.

Going through many job and career changes at such young ages have made me realize that the world is yours, and you truly have not only “a” choice, but you make the choice in your own path.

Every single day I watch people (including myself) hustling, busting their butts doing repetitive tasks in a redundant career with no growth that they are clearly unhappy pursuing.
They have no time for anything, and have to answer to people they don’t even like.. Have to socialize with people who don’t even dream and abide by stupid office politics.

When does it end? When do we get to do what we want, or have the freedom that we deserve, or get to make the kind of money that we are actually worth?

I’m on a quest to find out what different people that have aspects to the life that I want, actually do and I’m confident that it will all come together. I need to take some action, get some answers.

There is no way in hell life is just about some 9-5.

If some of us don’t do something now, life will pass us by and we’ll have regrets forever. I would rather at least try to create my own happiness than to just sit around watching others live theirs.

A made-up thought

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Strange it seems, these dreams and what they supposedly mean..
If they were real, how would I feel… how would we all deal?
I think sometimes, weird as it sounds that there are more to them..
It’s just that in our rapidly-moving world there is no way to actually prove them..so we get caught up in the next thought.
I often stop in my tracks, stare into the sky.. pick apart the dream
and re-live that magical scene…because who knows what will happen when I fall asleep again,
or worse – I may just forget the possibility..

A dark truth.

I’m having a really dark week.
And for some reason, it just got darker. Today.
I’m talking to God, something I don’t do often enough…and as this stream runs down my cheek, I’m praying, just for happiness.
I don’t know what else to pray for.
As you go through life, you seek answers. But when you go through a cycle that seems so vicious, and never-ending.. it just gets overwhelming.
I fight passionately, a lot. With people, family.. myself.
And sadly…I just feel like I’m done fighting, done trying to prove points.
I don’t know what else to say, or how to really feel.
I’m tired of defending myself, I’m tired of taking mental beatings.. at work.. in life.. from people I care about so deeply..
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone, no matter how close they seem, have their true opinions about you on the inside, whether they share them or not.
Usually, they wouldn’t – but their actions say it all.
I just don’t know what else to say.
For someone that has so many people around them,
I sure feel alone.